Wouldn’t it be great if you lived in a world where you wouldn’t have to argue with your parents over everything? Everyone loves their parents much more than they admit or can place into words, but sometimes when you really want something and they give you a “no” without hesitation, it’s easy to backlash against them. Well, MyEveryzine doesn’t like to see family bonds stressed or broken just because you can’t get an extra hour of curfew or a small raise to your allowance. So in order to avoid these super stressful problems, let ME act as your guide to negotiating with your parents without the drama.
Who wouldn’t want be rewarded with new iPad or be able to go to the party of the year for getting straight A’s, but sometimes those things don’t go over so well with mom and dad. Rather than shoving both of the things you want to your parents, it’s best to think which one you’d want more and focus on just one goal at time. Your parents might be so impressed with your restraint that they might give you a bonus.
2. Listening Pays Off
It might be frustrating when your parents give you all the reasons why you shouldn’t get an extra hour of curfew or get a raise in your allowance, but if you roll your eyes, interrupt, or walk away, you are just giving them another reason why they can’t negotiate with you. Be very respectful to your parents when you want something from them, in the end they have the final word. Give your parents the respect that you would want them to give you when you are stating why you should get an extra hour to hang out with your friends.
3. Show You’re Responsible
When you want your parents to give you some extra money for that amazing manicure, you want to show them rather than just tell them how responsible you can be.
Dominic, counselor for Boys Town National Hotline and Parenting.org, says, “Saying things like, “Can I stay out an hour later?” or “Can I have 50 bucks for that new video game?” can illicit an immediate response of no because they [parents] do not want to spoil their children or teach them that they can have anything for nothing.” Dominic’s solution for avoiding a “no” without being heard is showing responsibility. “Instead try this approach, when you ask for something say “What can I do to earn…” instead of “Can I have…” Now this may mean that you will have to take on extra responsibilities or work harder in other areas of your life, but if you truly want that extra hour on curfew or that extra allowance money, doing a little extra to get it may be worth it.”
4. Make Sure Your Demands Are Reasonable
Make sure if you’re trying to get your parents to let you hang out with your friends for a few more hours you’re not asking for an entire night out every week. If you want your parents to seriously consider your plan-of-action then make sure it’s reasonable enough for them to give it the okay. This helps avoid so many arguments.
5. Pick A Good Time to Negotiate
One of the reasons that you might end up arguing with your parents over something you really want but they won’t let you have is because you talk to them about it during a stressful time. Just how you panic and your brain goes into overload when finals or testing comes around, parents go through that too only with work and bills. Choose a time that you know your parents are feeling more relaxed and comfortable, it’ll help everyone stay calm, clear headed, and respectful.
6. Explain Why You Want These Changes
Why exactly do you want your parents to raise your allowance? Why should they get you a new car? Come up with a reasonable argument before you talk to your parents. Make sure you explain how it can change you for the better (like how you can be responsible and wash the cars every weekend). The more sense it makes to your parents, the closer you’ll be to that new car.
7. Meet Your Parents Half Way
Sometimes no matter what you tell your parents they will not let you have your way and they have their reasons. Don’t get angry because then you lose. Try meeting your parents half way with their decision and what you want to change. Give a helpful suggestion that would allow you to get closer to what you want but still within your parents’ suggestion, (like if they won’t let you go to a party but what if you suggest bring along your cousin that they trust or calling them before, when you’re there and when you leave the party).
Photo credit: Sally Wittenoom